I've noticed that any company or organization that wants to set you up on a contract, or set up automatic billing, or has any reason to get your bank info, credit card number or SIN will very often make your life miserable.
Take my gym for example. Let's call them "Goal's Gym" to protect the innocent. After closing my account with them over a year ago, they continued to bill me. When I asked them to refund the money, they said no, and wouldn't give me a reason, even though I had the paperwork showing I had indeed cancelled. It wasn't until I threatened to sue that they decided to refund me.
A friend had a similar experience where after cancelling, they sent him to collections, damaging his credit over a matter of $120 that he didn't owe them.
Or the phone company. They can charge you rediculous fees that you don't owe, but you'll end up paying or they'll send you to collections.
How about the bank? An NSF fee is now $42.50. It doesn't cost the bank a dime to simply tell a company that, no there isn't enough money in your account, yet they can charge over $40 for it. If you let an account lie dormant for any length of time, they now charge you $20 for an inactive account fee. They use your money as collateral agains which to lend to others, charging interest and earning money, yet they feel the need to charge a $20 fee because you're doing nothing with the account.
So I've given up my dream of being a film maker and am opening a bank. You all owe me $20 for the "you don't have an account here fee".
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The fallacy of 5%
So I bought a house a couple years ago and I'm slowly but surely paying that sucker down. One of the things I did when I bought was pay the minimum downpayment of 5%. So I ended up shelling out about 15K. If you've never bought a house, or you've never had to pay the minimum, here's what happens.
The banks buy CMHC insurance on any home you buy for less than 25% down. But the truth is the home purchaser is buying it because the bank (who makes billions a year) and will make hundreds of thousands of dollars from your mortgage) is going to fuck you for that amount. For a 5% downpayment, you have to pay 2.75%. Thats over half of your down payment. So basically, all that scrimping and saving you did is cut in half buy a really awesome Canadian agency, who according to their website, is helping you buy a home. And the bank.
So in the end, you end up putting down 2.25%, minus the 1000 or so you'll give a lawyer to print off a boilerplate mortgage contract and spend 15 minutes going over it with you.
So what do you get? Well, nothing. I mean, if you believe their website, you get a lower interest rates and can buy a home sooner. In reality, if there was no CHMC, banks would still lend people money to buy homes, because they earn huge amounts of money.
So you think, cool, the bank is insured so if I can't pay my bills they won't take my home. No, not really. If you can't make your payments, even though the bank is insured, even though they're borrowing money from the government at .25% and lending it to you at over 3%, they'll still foreclose on your house. They're cool like that. So basically they're fucking the people that need help the most.
So, how do we avoid the CMHC? Well, we can't unless we can afford 25% down. Does this system make sense? Nope. Can we fight it. Probably, but people don't realize this is happening until they have to fork over half the money they've saved. By then its pretty much too late.
I'm a naive person just trying to make my way through the world, but to me this feels like the government working for the banks, not the people. The only reasonable and viable answer is to throw rocks at bankers and the leaders of the CMHC. I suggest something palm sized with enough weight to do some damage, but light enough to get some velocity on.
The banks buy CMHC insurance on any home you buy for less than 25% down. But the truth is the home purchaser is buying it because the bank (who makes billions a year) and will make hundreds of thousands of dollars from your mortgage) is going to fuck you for that amount. For a 5% downpayment, you have to pay 2.75%. Thats over half of your down payment. So basically, all that scrimping and saving you did is cut in half buy a really awesome Canadian agency, who according to their website, is helping you buy a home. And the bank.
So in the end, you end up putting down 2.25%, minus the 1000 or so you'll give a lawyer to print off a boilerplate mortgage contract and spend 15 minutes going over it with you.
So what do you get? Well, nothing. I mean, if you believe their website, you get a lower interest rates and can buy a home sooner. In reality, if there was no CHMC, banks would still lend people money to buy homes, because they earn huge amounts of money.
So you think, cool, the bank is insured so if I can't pay my bills they won't take my home. No, not really. If you can't make your payments, even though the bank is insured, even though they're borrowing money from the government at .25% and lending it to you at over 3%, they'll still foreclose on your house. They're cool like that. So basically they're fucking the people that need help the most.
So, how do we avoid the CMHC? Well, we can't unless we can afford 25% down. Does this system make sense? Nope. Can we fight it. Probably, but people don't realize this is happening until they have to fork over half the money they've saved. By then its pretty much too late.
I'm a naive person just trying to make my way through the world, but to me this feels like the government working for the banks, not the people. The only reasonable and viable answer is to throw rocks at bankers and the leaders of the CMHC. I suggest something palm sized with enough weight to do some damage, but light enough to get some velocity on.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Things went bad in Airdrie
I was SOME happy to get home. Seeing the family, some friends was great. My sleep is a mess, up till 11 am, sleeping till 7pm. Happy to be home though. Mom and Dad got a couple of puppies so its been fun playing with them. It's either on or off, full bore running around chewing everything, or dead asleep.
I was kinda sad when I heard about a family that lost their baby recently after it was bitten by a husky. The initial report I got was..."Baby eaten by sled dog". That kind of statement makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with people leaving their baby where it can be eaten by a sled dog. I envisioned the big bad wolf swallowing a baby whole.
But of course that's not the case. It wasn't a bloodthirsty pit bull who randomly attacked a baby in a carriage in a park on a beautiful July afternoon.It was a family pet who had bitten a crying baby, perhaps even in an effort to calm the infant. Dogs lift their offspring by the back of the neck to wrangle them. The baby died that night and the family had put the poor beast down today.
Sadly they've lost two members of their family over what is really a tragic accident. There was an outpouring interest for people to adopt the dog but its masters thought that putting him down was best for the family at this time. On the one hand it seems horrible to put a dog down for simply being a dog, but then, I've never had one kill my baby. Accident or not.
I was kinda sad when I heard about a family that lost their baby recently after it was bitten by a husky. The initial report I got was..."Baby eaten by sled dog". That kind of statement makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with people leaving their baby where it can be eaten by a sled dog. I envisioned the big bad wolf swallowing a baby whole.
But of course that's not the case. It wasn't a bloodthirsty pit bull who randomly attacked a baby in a carriage in a park on a beautiful July afternoon.It was a family pet who had bitten a crying baby, perhaps even in an effort to calm the infant. Dogs lift their offspring by the back of the neck to wrangle them. The baby died that night and the family had put the poor beast down today.
Sadly they've lost two members of their family over what is really a tragic accident. There was an outpouring interest for people to adopt the dog but its masters thought that putting him down was best for the family at this time. On the one hand it seems horrible to put a dog down for simply being a dog, but then, I've never had one kill my baby. Accident or not.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Hot Air Balloons
We were in a hot air balloon and my friend's daughter, looking down says "Hey dad, this is just like google maps, but its live" She's 23.
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Sexiest Thing I've Seen In Ages
The Sexiest Thing I've Seen In Ages was the way the British girl danced tonight. I was sitting at an curb-side bar listening to two Thai guys do some pretty impressive covers of Bob Marley and 90s Grunge. I noticed this woman dancing. She was in her late 20s maybe, she had a fringe hair cut, short on the sides, like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. She was muscular but slight as she moved in front of the band. She danced like a 20's flapper girl, halting steps, flailing arms coming to abrupt but easy stops. But she was sexier, she moved her hips more, ran her fingers through her hair, pushed her long toned legs out from under her short skirts for miles. I don't know if it was the heat, the music or just Bangkok, but everyone in the place was staring at her, the band cheered her on. She laughed and swirled taking breaks for a smoke now and then.
Even that seemed sexy.
I had to leave, I had a flight in 3 hours and I was beat. Some german backpackers were eyeing my seat and vultured it when I stood up. But, I'll always have the memory of the Uma Thurmon flapper girl.
Even that seemed sexy.
I had to leave, I had a flight in 3 hours and I was beat. Some german backpackers were eyeing my seat and vultured it when I stood up. But, I'll always have the memory of the Uma Thurmon flapper girl.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Drugs
The door to the editing suite was ajar. I was watching a Laos friend of mine rolling a joint when a curios looking Asian man popped his head in the door and looked around. We looked back. He popped his head back out and kept going, leaving our door open.
Frighteningly aware that, thanks to the movie we were shooting there were more than a few Laos officals running around town, men who make up their meagre salaries by obtaining 'Gifts', I suggested we shut the door.
"yeah" said my friend. He kept rolling. I got up and closed the door and sat back down thinking.
"Hey, what's the penalty for drugs in Laos?"
"Death" he laughed. I raised my eyebrows. Feeling my stare he looked up. "Well, that's the worst thing"
Yeah, no shit. However, staying in a town where just about every restaurant has a "Happy Menu" I wasn't too concerned. But maybe I should have been.
Frighteningly aware that, thanks to the movie we were shooting there were more than a few Laos officals running around town, men who make up their meagre salaries by obtaining 'Gifts', I suggested we shut the door.
"yeah" said my friend. He kept rolling. I got up and closed the door and sat back down thinking.
"Hey, what's the penalty for drugs in Laos?"
"Death" he laughed. I raised my eyebrows. Feeling my stare he looked up. "Well, that's the worst thing"
Yeah, no shit. However, staying in a town where just about every restaurant has a "Happy Menu" I wasn't too concerned. But maybe I should have been.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Facebook Friends
My friend Matt has almost 1000 friends on Facebook.
The other day I decided, for fun, to add every person Facebook suggested to me as a friend. Quite honestly, I don't know most of the people on there, and the ones I did know I wasn't really friends with. Some I didn't ever like.
Almost every one of them accepted. They are now part of my collection.
The other day I decided, for fun, to add every person Facebook suggested to me as a friend. Quite honestly, I don't know most of the people on there, and the ones I did know I wasn't really friends with. Some I didn't ever like.
Almost every one of them accepted. They are now part of my collection.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tattoos
I saw a sign today on FB that says:
"The only difference between tattooed people and non tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you don't have tattoos"
Yes...the non tattooed people spend alot of time giving a shit what you've done to your body. Here's something that some tattooed people should think about.
It's unoriginal. Everyone is doing it. People's moms are getting them. People in other cultures have been getting them for centuries.
Its not great art. There are only a few people out there doing anything different or new, or pushing their art form to the next level.
No one actually gives a shit.
"The only difference between tattooed people and non tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you don't have tattoos"
Yes...the non tattooed people spend alot of time giving a shit what you've done to your body. Here's something that some tattooed people should think about.
It's unoriginal. Everyone is doing it. People's moms are getting them. People in other cultures have been getting them for centuries.
Its not great art. There are only a few people out there doing anything different or new, or pushing their art form to the next level.
No one actually gives a shit.
Super Granma
I thought of a new super hero while talking with friends over diner. Super Granma. She lives in a nursing home and her superpower is her Granma arms.
She needs a costume, taking suggestions.
She needs a costume, taking suggestions.
The Three Stages of Life In My Sandwich
I ordered a sandwich today at the hotel. The guy spoke no english so my chicken sub with lettuce, cucumber, cheese and chili sauce ended up being a scrambled eggs, chicken, cheese and mustard on a bun.
Then I thought about what was in my sandwich. It somehow bothered me that I had chicken in both pre-birth form and adult form. And they were both dead obviously. It was the circle of life in a baguette!
Then I thought about what was in my sandwich. It somehow bothered me that I had chicken in both pre-birth form and adult form. And they were both dead obviously. It was the circle of life in a baguette!
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| From www.laughparty.com |
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Internet Dating
So I've tried internet dating. I'm over 30, single. I'm a prime suspect for this kinda think I reckon. I've jumped off and on three or four different sites over the years and I've learned a few things about the women posting there.
If there's two women in the picture she's the less attractive one.
Absolutley EVERYONE says they like to have fun and enjoy spending time with their friends and family.
If she has no pics, its cause she's ugly.
Rarely its because she's pretty and wants people to like her for who she really is.
Intimate encounter is code for "Pay me for sex"
Women who have taken most of their photos by themselves by holding the camera up above them showing mostly their cleavage and face are usually pretty but overweight.
Seeking generous man is code for "Pay me for sex"
A little extra weight means a lot of extra weight.
Average body often means a little extra weight
Athletic body means fit.
Muscular body means athletic
Thin or King/Queen sized are generally accurate
Red heads are insane.
The more explicitly sexual the message is, the less attractive the girl is.
Non smoker doesn't necessarily mean non smoker
Social drinker can mean just about anything.
Non-drug using doesn't mean they don't smoke pot
Many people start by saying "Well here I am on a dating site" Yeah. No shit.
Just moved to town means at one time, they lived somewhere else.
Everyone likes to travel
Coffee or drinks is the most popular first date idea
My most bizarre first date came when I met a girl for a drink at the 711 on 17th. I didn't know why she wanted to meet me there, I figured it was a safety thing, not wanting me to come to her house, or maybe she worked there. She was 10 years older and 15 lbs heavier than her pics. She also had about 10 more piercings. She said she had no kids and didn't smoke, but the two car seats and the overflowing ashtray in her car made me question her honesty.
We chatted idly for a bit when she cut me off to say "Sex is really important to me." I laughed and said "Me too"
She looked right through me and said "No, its a lifestyle for me."
I said "Ok, well, that's cool I guess."
Then she said "What would you say if I said that we should go back to my place and have a threesome with my room mate"
A little shocked I joked, "I dunno, I don't usually have threesomes on a first date"
Without blinking she said "What if he just watched?"
Now I'm thinking 'He?!'
I said, "Look, you're real nice (she wasn't ) but I don't think we're a good match. I'm gonna go."
She gives me this really hard look and says "Well can I at least see it?"
"See what?"
"Your dick," she advised, motioning towards my crotch.
"I'll see you later," I replied.
I went back to my bike and started it, when I was grabbed and spun around. It was crazy pin cushion face. She grabbed the front of my jacked, pulled me in and kissed me. Definitely a smoker. I pushed her off and said "Hey, I'm sorry, not interested, you need to go."
She gives me this big smile and says "See you later" and walks off to her car. I got on my bike and took off to a buddy's place. When I got there I told him the story. He laughed and called me a wuss for not going on the threesome.
"It was another DUDE!" I tried to explain.
He asked me to show him her pic from the dating site. So we went to his office and logged on. She had sent me an email:
"Nice to meet you, can't wait to see you again"
I quit internet dating for a while after that.
If there's two women in the picture she's the less attractive one.
Absolutley EVERYONE says they like to have fun and enjoy spending time with their friends and family.
If she has no pics, its cause she's ugly.
Rarely its because she's pretty and wants people to like her for who she really is.
Intimate encounter is code for "Pay me for sex"
Women who have taken most of their photos by themselves by holding the camera up above them showing mostly their cleavage and face are usually pretty but overweight.
Seeking generous man is code for "Pay me for sex"
A little extra weight means a lot of extra weight.
Average body often means a little extra weight
Athletic body means fit.
Muscular body means athletic
Thin or King/Queen sized are generally accurate
Red heads are insane.
The more explicitly sexual the message is, the less attractive the girl is.
Non smoker doesn't necessarily mean non smoker
Social drinker can mean just about anything.
Non-drug using doesn't mean they don't smoke pot
Many people start by saying "Well here I am on a dating site" Yeah. No shit.
Just moved to town means at one time, they lived somewhere else.
Everyone likes to travel
Coffee or drinks is the most popular first date idea
My most bizarre first date came when I met a girl for a drink at the 711 on 17th. I didn't know why she wanted to meet me there, I figured it was a safety thing, not wanting me to come to her house, or maybe she worked there. She was 10 years older and 15 lbs heavier than her pics. She also had about 10 more piercings. She said she had no kids and didn't smoke, but the two car seats and the overflowing ashtray in her car made me question her honesty.
We chatted idly for a bit when she cut me off to say "Sex is really important to me." I laughed and said "Me too"
She looked right through me and said "No, its a lifestyle for me."
I said "Ok, well, that's cool I guess."
Then she said "What would you say if I said that we should go back to my place and have a threesome with my room mate"
A little shocked I joked, "I dunno, I don't usually have threesomes on a first date"
Without blinking she said "What if he just watched?"
Now I'm thinking 'He?!'
I said, "Look, you're real nice (she wasn't ) but I don't think we're a good match. I'm gonna go."
She gives me this really hard look and says "Well can I at least see it?"
"See what?"
"Your dick," she advised, motioning towards my crotch.
"I'll see you later," I replied.
I went back to my bike and started it, when I was grabbed and spun around. It was crazy pin cushion face. She grabbed the front of my jacked, pulled me in and kissed me. Definitely a smoker. I pushed her off and said "Hey, I'm sorry, not interested, you need to go."
She gives me this big smile and says "See you later" and walks off to her car. I got on my bike and took off to a buddy's place. When I got there I told him the story. He laughed and called me a wuss for not going on the threesome.
"It was another DUDE!" I tried to explain.
He asked me to show him her pic from the dating site. So we went to his office and logged on. She had sent me an email:
"Nice to meet you, can't wait to see you again"
I quit internet dating for a while after that.
Did This MacBook Pro Kill Someone?
Just read an article about how apple's biggest supplier, Foxconn, run by Asia's wealthiest man, is not treating their workers well. Two factories have blown up, killing a few and injuring dozens. They were warned about the conditions leading to this but did nothing. Others have committed suicide, jumping off the factory dorms. Why does a factory need dorms? And did someone who killed themselves, or got injured work on this MacBook Pro I'm typing on right now?
Maybe this all needs to happen so I can pay less for my Mac. Or maybe its happening so Apple's new CEO can pull down over $300 million per year. If I wanted to do something to avoid contributing to the situation do I have a more humane option, or are all electronics companies doing the same thing?
Should I just stick to pen and paper from now on? How are the pen factories treating their workers?
Maybe this all needs to happen so I can pay less for my Mac. Or maybe its happening so Apple's new CEO can pull down over $300 million per year. If I wanted to do something to avoid contributing to the situation do I have a more humane option, or are all electronics companies doing the same thing?
Should I just stick to pen and paper from now on? How are the pen factories treating their workers?
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