Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Hot Air Balloons
We were in a hot air balloon and my friend's daughter, looking down says "Hey dad, this is just like google maps, but its live" She's 23.
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Sexiest Thing I've Seen In Ages
The Sexiest Thing I've Seen In Ages was the way the British girl danced tonight. I was sitting at an curb-side bar listening to two Thai guys do some pretty impressive covers of Bob Marley and 90s Grunge. I noticed this woman dancing. She was in her late 20s maybe, she had a fringe hair cut, short on the sides, like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. She was muscular but slight as she moved in front of the band. She danced like a 20's flapper girl, halting steps, flailing arms coming to abrupt but easy stops. But she was sexier, she moved her hips more, ran her fingers through her hair, pushed her long toned legs out from under her short skirts for miles. I don't know if it was the heat, the music or just Bangkok, but everyone in the place was staring at her, the band cheered her on. She laughed and swirled taking breaks for a smoke now and then.
Even that seemed sexy.
I had to leave, I had a flight in 3 hours and I was beat. Some german backpackers were eyeing my seat and vultured it when I stood up. But, I'll always have the memory of the Uma Thurmon flapper girl.
Even that seemed sexy.
I had to leave, I had a flight in 3 hours and I was beat. Some german backpackers were eyeing my seat and vultured it when I stood up. But, I'll always have the memory of the Uma Thurmon flapper girl.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Drugs
The door to the editing suite was ajar. I was watching a Laos friend of mine rolling a joint when a curios looking Asian man popped his head in the door and looked around. We looked back. He popped his head back out and kept going, leaving our door open.
Frighteningly aware that, thanks to the movie we were shooting there were more than a few Laos officals running around town, men who make up their meagre salaries by obtaining 'Gifts', I suggested we shut the door.
"yeah" said my friend. He kept rolling. I got up and closed the door and sat back down thinking.
"Hey, what's the penalty for drugs in Laos?"
"Death" he laughed. I raised my eyebrows. Feeling my stare he looked up. "Well, that's the worst thing"
Yeah, no shit. However, staying in a town where just about every restaurant has a "Happy Menu" I wasn't too concerned. But maybe I should have been.
Frighteningly aware that, thanks to the movie we were shooting there were more than a few Laos officals running around town, men who make up their meagre salaries by obtaining 'Gifts', I suggested we shut the door.
"yeah" said my friend. He kept rolling. I got up and closed the door and sat back down thinking.
"Hey, what's the penalty for drugs in Laos?"
"Death" he laughed. I raised my eyebrows. Feeling my stare he looked up. "Well, that's the worst thing"
Yeah, no shit. However, staying in a town where just about every restaurant has a "Happy Menu" I wasn't too concerned. But maybe I should have been.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Facebook Friends
My friend Matt has almost 1000 friends on Facebook.
The other day I decided, for fun, to add every person Facebook suggested to me as a friend. Quite honestly, I don't know most of the people on there, and the ones I did know I wasn't really friends with. Some I didn't ever like.
Almost every one of them accepted. They are now part of my collection.
The other day I decided, for fun, to add every person Facebook suggested to me as a friend. Quite honestly, I don't know most of the people on there, and the ones I did know I wasn't really friends with. Some I didn't ever like.
Almost every one of them accepted. They are now part of my collection.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tattoos
I saw a sign today on FB that says:
"The only difference between tattooed people and non tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you don't have tattoos"
Yes...the non tattooed people spend alot of time giving a shit what you've done to your body. Here's something that some tattooed people should think about.
It's unoriginal. Everyone is doing it. People's moms are getting them. People in other cultures have been getting them for centuries.
Its not great art. There are only a few people out there doing anything different or new, or pushing their art form to the next level.
No one actually gives a shit.
"The only difference between tattooed people and non tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you don't have tattoos"
Yes...the non tattooed people spend alot of time giving a shit what you've done to your body. Here's something that some tattooed people should think about.
It's unoriginal. Everyone is doing it. People's moms are getting them. People in other cultures have been getting them for centuries.
Its not great art. There are only a few people out there doing anything different or new, or pushing their art form to the next level.
No one actually gives a shit.
Super Granma
I thought of a new super hero while talking with friends over diner. Super Granma. She lives in a nursing home and her superpower is her Granma arms.
She needs a costume, taking suggestions.
She needs a costume, taking suggestions.
The Three Stages of Life In My Sandwich
I ordered a sandwich today at the hotel. The guy spoke no english so my chicken sub with lettuce, cucumber, cheese and chili sauce ended up being a scrambled eggs, chicken, cheese and mustard on a bun.
Then I thought about what was in my sandwich. It somehow bothered me that I had chicken in both pre-birth form and adult form. And they were both dead obviously. It was the circle of life in a baguette!
Then I thought about what was in my sandwich. It somehow bothered me that I had chicken in both pre-birth form and adult form. And they were both dead obviously. It was the circle of life in a baguette!
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| From www.laughparty.com |
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Internet Dating
So I've tried internet dating. I'm over 30, single. I'm a prime suspect for this kinda think I reckon. I've jumped off and on three or four different sites over the years and I've learned a few things about the women posting there.
If there's two women in the picture she's the less attractive one.
Absolutley EVERYONE says they like to have fun and enjoy spending time with their friends and family.
If she has no pics, its cause she's ugly.
Rarely its because she's pretty and wants people to like her for who she really is.
Intimate encounter is code for "Pay me for sex"
Women who have taken most of their photos by themselves by holding the camera up above them showing mostly their cleavage and face are usually pretty but overweight.
Seeking generous man is code for "Pay me for sex"
A little extra weight means a lot of extra weight.
Average body often means a little extra weight
Athletic body means fit.
Muscular body means athletic
Thin or King/Queen sized are generally accurate
Red heads are insane.
The more explicitly sexual the message is, the less attractive the girl is.
Non smoker doesn't necessarily mean non smoker
Social drinker can mean just about anything.
Non-drug using doesn't mean they don't smoke pot
Many people start by saying "Well here I am on a dating site" Yeah. No shit.
Just moved to town means at one time, they lived somewhere else.
Everyone likes to travel
Coffee or drinks is the most popular first date idea
My most bizarre first date came when I met a girl for a drink at the 711 on 17th. I didn't know why she wanted to meet me there, I figured it was a safety thing, not wanting me to come to her house, or maybe she worked there. She was 10 years older and 15 lbs heavier than her pics. She also had about 10 more piercings. She said she had no kids and didn't smoke, but the two car seats and the overflowing ashtray in her car made me question her honesty.
We chatted idly for a bit when she cut me off to say "Sex is really important to me." I laughed and said "Me too"
She looked right through me and said "No, its a lifestyle for me."
I said "Ok, well, that's cool I guess."
Then she said "What would you say if I said that we should go back to my place and have a threesome with my room mate"
A little shocked I joked, "I dunno, I don't usually have threesomes on a first date"
Without blinking she said "What if he just watched?"
Now I'm thinking 'He?!'
I said, "Look, you're real nice (she wasn't ) but I don't think we're a good match. I'm gonna go."
She gives me this really hard look and says "Well can I at least see it?"
"See what?"
"Your dick," she advised, motioning towards my crotch.
"I'll see you later," I replied.
I went back to my bike and started it, when I was grabbed and spun around. It was crazy pin cushion face. She grabbed the front of my jacked, pulled me in and kissed me. Definitely a smoker. I pushed her off and said "Hey, I'm sorry, not interested, you need to go."
She gives me this big smile and says "See you later" and walks off to her car. I got on my bike and took off to a buddy's place. When I got there I told him the story. He laughed and called me a wuss for not going on the threesome.
"It was another DUDE!" I tried to explain.
He asked me to show him her pic from the dating site. So we went to his office and logged on. She had sent me an email:
"Nice to meet you, can't wait to see you again"
I quit internet dating for a while after that.
If there's two women in the picture she's the less attractive one.
Absolutley EVERYONE says they like to have fun and enjoy spending time with their friends and family.
If she has no pics, its cause she's ugly.
Rarely its because she's pretty and wants people to like her for who she really is.
Intimate encounter is code for "Pay me for sex"
Women who have taken most of their photos by themselves by holding the camera up above them showing mostly their cleavage and face are usually pretty but overweight.
Seeking generous man is code for "Pay me for sex"
A little extra weight means a lot of extra weight.
Average body often means a little extra weight
Athletic body means fit.
Muscular body means athletic
Thin or King/Queen sized are generally accurate
Red heads are insane.
The more explicitly sexual the message is, the less attractive the girl is.
Non smoker doesn't necessarily mean non smoker
Social drinker can mean just about anything.
Non-drug using doesn't mean they don't smoke pot
Many people start by saying "Well here I am on a dating site" Yeah. No shit.
Just moved to town means at one time, they lived somewhere else.
Everyone likes to travel
Coffee or drinks is the most popular first date idea
My most bizarre first date came when I met a girl for a drink at the 711 on 17th. I didn't know why she wanted to meet me there, I figured it was a safety thing, not wanting me to come to her house, or maybe she worked there. She was 10 years older and 15 lbs heavier than her pics. She also had about 10 more piercings. She said she had no kids and didn't smoke, but the two car seats and the overflowing ashtray in her car made me question her honesty.
We chatted idly for a bit when she cut me off to say "Sex is really important to me." I laughed and said "Me too"
She looked right through me and said "No, its a lifestyle for me."
I said "Ok, well, that's cool I guess."
Then she said "What would you say if I said that we should go back to my place and have a threesome with my room mate"
A little shocked I joked, "I dunno, I don't usually have threesomes on a first date"
Without blinking she said "What if he just watched?"
Now I'm thinking 'He?!'
I said, "Look, you're real nice (she wasn't ) but I don't think we're a good match. I'm gonna go."
She gives me this really hard look and says "Well can I at least see it?"
"See what?"
"Your dick," she advised, motioning towards my crotch.
"I'll see you later," I replied.
I went back to my bike and started it, when I was grabbed and spun around. It was crazy pin cushion face. She grabbed the front of my jacked, pulled me in and kissed me. Definitely a smoker. I pushed her off and said "Hey, I'm sorry, not interested, you need to go."
She gives me this big smile and says "See you later" and walks off to her car. I got on my bike and took off to a buddy's place. When I got there I told him the story. He laughed and called me a wuss for not going on the threesome.
"It was another DUDE!" I tried to explain.
He asked me to show him her pic from the dating site. So we went to his office and logged on. She had sent me an email:
"Nice to meet you, can't wait to see you again"
I quit internet dating for a while after that.
Did This MacBook Pro Kill Someone?
Just read an article about how apple's biggest supplier, Foxconn, run by Asia's wealthiest man, is not treating their workers well. Two factories have blown up, killing a few and injuring dozens. They were warned about the conditions leading to this but did nothing. Others have committed suicide, jumping off the factory dorms. Why does a factory need dorms? And did someone who killed themselves, or got injured work on this MacBook Pro I'm typing on right now?
Maybe this all needs to happen so I can pay less for my Mac. Or maybe its happening so Apple's new CEO can pull down over $300 million per year. If I wanted to do something to avoid contributing to the situation do I have a more humane option, or are all electronics companies doing the same thing?
Should I just stick to pen and paper from now on? How are the pen factories treating their workers?
Maybe this all needs to happen so I can pay less for my Mac. Or maybe its happening so Apple's new CEO can pull down over $300 million per year. If I wanted to do something to avoid contributing to the situation do I have a more humane option, or are all electronics companies doing the same thing?
Should I just stick to pen and paper from now on? How are the pen factories treating their workers?
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